That is what Delta airlines says to me whenever I fly with David anywhere. Owing to his very frequent work-related travel, David has reached Diamond Medallion Status on Delta. For those of you unfamiliar with the Medallion status system on Delta, let me put it in a way that can be easily understood if you are at all familiar with the British social hierarchies of a bygone era. Obtaining Diamond Medallion status on Delta is akin to being a British royal. If you make it to Platinum, you might be considered a member of the greater nobility – a non-royal Duke like the Duke of Norfolk or Devonshire, something like that. Gold Status is for your lesser nobility, maybe a Baron. It is pretty good, but not that great. So what does it mean if, like me, you just have Silver Medallion status? Well, welcomed to ordinary, landed Gentryville. You may be a little bit better off than the masses struggling over overhead baggage space who are forced to board the plane last, but you can forget about those upgrades. Those are reserved for the royalty. So when David and I fly together, he gets upgraded, I get stuck back in Coach.
This recalls two moments from pop culture in my childhood. Guess the movie where this exchange comes from:
“Don’t you fee like a heel flying first class with all your kids back in
coach?” Kay asks Peter.
“No, the kids are fine. the only flying I did as a boy was in the back of
the families station wagon, and it wasn’t to France. The kids are okay.
They’re having the time of their lives,” says Peter.
“Yeah,” says Kay.
In this case David =feeling like a heel, Leslie = kids who may or may not have been having the time of their lives (news flash – the “kids” (Leslie) were not having the time of their lives watching the proles fight over baggage space).
This is how David and I negotiated who took his upgrade on each leg of our recent trip. Of course, the problem is, I have flown first class, thanks to David’s many miles purchasing upgrades before. I have flown business class overseas. I do know the difference. And even though first class on domestic flights these days rarely feature meals and I don’t take advantage of the free alcohol benefits, there still is a difference. But just like on Seinfeld, when we flew business class to Spain recently, we did get ice cream sundaes. “More ice cream?” “More everything!”
Air travel turns me into such an elitist. I have to say that nothing causes me to feel a greater sense of entitlement than flying on a plane. If you ever have occasion to meet me in an airport, I apologize in advance for what a jerk I probably will be. This is why that it is good news that as a result of David making Diamond status this year, he can gift me Gold status next year. A chance to move up the pecking order! More honors and benefits! This recalls another pop culture reference that properly displays my feelings on this whole Medallion business:
Finally, here is a benefit we can enjoy together – David in the Sky Club at the Orlando airport. Because after five days of dealing with the masses at theme parks, a good aristocrat needs their own special room in which to relax.