To Social Awkwardness

It appears that in my life I have the exact opposite problem from Michael Scott, on “The Office.” Whereas he lacks any sort of self-awareness whatsoever, I am panfully self-aware of everything that I say and do. And that still provides for some of the most uncomfortable social situations imaginable; the kind that I am sure would be just as hilarious to an impartial observer. However it is phobia inducing to me. It is pretty bad when, in a room full of librarians, you can still manage to be the most socially inept and clumsy.

Friday night, I went with Carissa and Amanda to go bowling with several of our other library school classmates to celebrate the last day of class being finished. The first frame, the first ball that I threw, I fell in a painfully embarassing way, setting off the buzzer for committing a foul, of course, and ending up halfway down the lane. It was not my finest moment. Then last night, at the law library director’s holiday open house, I spilled my drink all over her couch and totally bombed in my conversation attempts. Ouch. It was a fairly humiliating experience.

To console myself after the open house, David and I went and saw “Atonement”, which I loved, and which David found depressing. After failing in two social events in one weekend, I welcomed the opportunity to sit in a dark theater and watch a movie about a love that was never meant to be because your sibling has your boyfriend arrested for a crime that he didn’t commit.

When I returned back to my house, I saw that my new Netflix movies had arrived, and one of the movies that I got was “The Wind that Shakes the Barley.” I thought to myself, SCORE! Because I was under the mistaken impression that James McAvoy was in that movie too. He is not. He is Scottish. Instead, it is Cillian Murphy, who is Irish, that is in that movie. There is a subtle but profound distinction between James McAvoy’s puppy dog cute blue eyes and Cillian Murphy’s mildly psychotic, creepy and threatening blue eyes.

Not to mention the fact that I think James McAvoy is pretty great because last year he got married to a woman who is nine years older than him and there is a quite from him on the IMDB page where he said, “I’m 5 foot 7, and I’ve got pasty white skin. I don’t think I’m ugly, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not your classic lead man, Brad Pitt guy.” Cheers to pasty white skin. I have accepted mine.

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