Moderate This Wolf Blitzer!

In honor of the fact that the Presidential campaign season has already begun, even though it is almost 18 months away, I thought that I would start posting every now and again my contribution to the political “blogoscape.” What better day to start than after watching the Republican Presidential Debate on CNN last night?

ISSUE OF CONCERN: English as the National Language – Last night, all of the Republican candidates indicated that they believed English should be the national language. Well, John McCain had some concerns about Native American languages, but aside from that, he was fine with English as the national language. Interesting, that no one pointed out after McCain raised his concerns that English was a language brought to America by immigrants, and that really, only Native American languages are indigenous to this land. Anyway, instead pretty much the candidates stated that the English language was under attack by immigrants insisting on speaking Spanish and never learning English. Here are my thoughts: Since when did America become the savior of the English language? Shouldn’t that be reserved for, say, England? Secondly, the English language is under attack. But, it isn’t because too many people are speaking Spanish or some other language. Nope. It is because we Americans speak English so poorly these days. I know I make grammar mistakes every now and again, but did Elementary School English teachers just stop teaching grammar completely? Also, why is it that most Americans’ vocabularies consist almost entirely of four letter words? The number of curse words in the English language may be expanding exponentially, but our use of the rest of the words in the English language is more and more diminishing. That is the real issue. Maybe more foreign languages mixed with English can increase our vocabularies again. If I ever hear a candidate get up and discuss the need for Americans to expand their vocabularies and to use proper grammar, then I will know that I have found the candidate for me.

CANDIDATE SPOTLIGHT: TOM TANCREDO – What I want to know is this: Who elected this guy to office? Seriously. Was it a joke? First of all, I can understand people that are against offering some path to citizenship for the millions of undocumented workers in this country. I don’t necessarily agree with it, but I can understand where they are coming from. What I don’t understand is someone who is against all forms of immigration and who thinks that there should be a moritorium on legal immigration as well. And beyond that he gets goofier, and goofier, and goofier. Also, for someone who is so anti-immigration and so pro-English as the only language, he sure has a non-English name. I mean, I don’t think there were any Tancredos on the Mayflower. It turns out, its Italian! Southern European, eh? That doesn’t sound so first wave of immigration to the New World to me…

In any case, Tom Tancredo may be the candidate for you if:

1. You are a person who enjoys hanging out with your old trusty rifle down on the southern border to threaten off any Mexican daring to cross that border; or you enjoy emptying out those water coolers in the desert because it is better that a mother from El Salvador die of dehydration in the desert than make it to that job as a housekeeper in Orange County, CA.

2. You think that anyone who comes to this country should “forget their past” and assimilate, assimiliate, assimilate. That is an order! You have no freedom to keep any of your previous identity. In fact, you think we should assign people new “American” names at ports of entry. Welcome Ramon Martinez! You are now Beauregard Lee.

3. You have long wished to redefine citizenship only to include people who are just like you.

4. You think an income tax is for commies.

5. People never take you seriously. And you think they will be sorry for that one day when you have the power to strip them of their US citizenship and deport them to Honduras! Enjoy the banana plantation bucko!

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