I am talking about myself, of course. Today is the first three day weekend that I have had from work that I think that I haven’t spent with DJ. Oh wait – President’s Day last year.
As generally happens when I have too much free time on my hands (or rather, when I should be doing something more productive but I am not), I have been feeling too nostalgic today reading old emails, journals, and such, and I have had one abiding feeling – what an idiot I was! Seriously, my past relationships are so laughable and forced melodramatic. I am so glad that I am not that person anymore.
The thing that I realized today is that for all of my tears and assumed emotion from the past, all of my relatonships were pretty meaningless and juvenile. I never thought of myself as a “We” with any of those people. I never got beyond the forced attraction that drew me to any of those people to see them as a real person, but I was always in love with the idea of them. Dumb. Brooke, whom I swore that I loved, was just a silly guy with way too many horomones and not enough practicality. He was a boy I could idealize and take care of at the same time without having to really know him. I cried so many tears for an idea that was never really real.
Who knew that Martin Luther King Day could make me think so honestly about my romantic misgivings? I doubt that it is the legacy of Dr. King and more like the presence of one Mr. James that has created this honest reflection.
But I do have to say on an unrelated note, that In Good Company is a great flick. I love Topher Grace! His character is great! But I am a sucker for tall, skinny boys who work too much.